Archive for July, 2010

$20 for $40 Worth of Eco-Friendly Dry Cleaning at Aqua Cleaners

Saturday, July 31st, 2010
$20 for $40 Worth of Eco-Friendly Dry Cleaning at Aqua Cleaners

Before dry cleaning, clothing was washed by dressing up a phalanx of backyard laundry scarecrows just before thunderstorms. Today's deal lets you do away with sopping strawmen and clean your clothes the new-fashioned way—with science. For $20, you get $40 worth of eco-friendly dry cleaning at Aqua Cleaners, located in Los Altos. Schedule online to arrange a complimentary pickup and delivery of your dry-cleaning items within Aqua's service area (including Cupertino, Sunnyvale, Los Altos, Mountain View, Palo Alto, Portola Valley, Menlo Park, Atherton and Woodside). Your Groupon can be used over multiple visits.

Pledging effective, gentle, and environmentally friendly dry-cleaning technologies, Aqua Cleaners tenderly galvanizes garb to arrive soft to the touch and brilliant to ogling onlookers. Entrust your soiled apparel—from polo shirts ($7.47) and pashminas ($9.97) to shirts ($6.97) and ski jackets ($15.97)—to the personable dirt detesters, who treat clothing with a combination of clean and safe liquid carbon dioxide. The liquid's low surface tension and viscosity render it resilient against malignant stains, penetrating and tidying with a cool temperature that is easy on delicate clothing. This mild yet efficient process does not emit harmful gases nor does it employ toxic solvents, which can transform otherwise placid Oxford shirts into mutant polka-dot straightjackets.

Aqua Cleaners' clean, welcoming storefront is set conveniently in Silicon Valley and fully staffed with compassionate garment guardians that care about the environment as much as they care for your attire. Their complimentary pickup team patrols the streets daily, picking up stray cummerbunds and orphaned bowties according to owners' specific instructions.

New customers only.

Groupon Says

The Waterboy

Dolphins can be the cruelest of the friendly ocean mammals.

Read more...

$15 for 15 Yoga Classes at Cocoon Urban Day Spa ($150 Value)

Friday, July 30th, 2010
$15 for 15 Yoga Classes at Cocoon Urban Day Spa ($150 Value)

The first master yogis bent themselves like twist-ties around their enemies, smothering them with relaxing vibes. Now that all of your human and animal enemies are dead or in exile, use today's Groupon to defeat work-related stress with 15 classes at Cocoon Urban Day Spa for $15 (a $150 value). All 15 classes must be taken within six months of the first class.

Most Cocoon classes are welcoming to all experience levels, from yoga rookies to former all-city yogis. Cocoon instructors, led by veteran yoga teacher Maya Ramsey, teach vinyasa-style yoga at a pace that includes everyone and leaves no student behind. Busy professionals and parents will have no trouble fitting yoga into their schedules at Cocoon, which offers classes at various hours throughout every day except Sunday and Sadderday, the only day dedicated to frowny clowns.

Cocoon's spacious yoga studio, constructed of all-natural materials, is a relaxing place to stretch, strengthen, and balance all bodily components. Yoga classes will help achieve a healthier, more relaxed persona capable of remaining at ease throughout the most hectic of situations, such as finishing a jigsaw puzzle while wearing a beard of bees. Call ahead to book the first class and to start fulfilling a lifelong dream of becoming a pose professor.

New students only. Not valid toward private yoga sessions.

Groupon Says

Day Spa: Nights

What kind of spa is riddled with vampires and insanity-wind?

Read more...

$9 for Two Tickets to Any Show at Comedy Off Broadway Oakland

Friday, July 30th, 2010
$9 for Two Tickets to Any Show at Comedy Off Broadway Oakland

Most robots convey laughter by beeping, although many play a recording of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" before exploding. Enjoy comedy free of operatic detonations with today's deal: for $9, you get two tickets to any show at Comedy Off Broadway Oakland, located at Miss Pearl's Jam House at The Waterfront Hotel in Jack London Square (a $20 value). Your Groupon is valid for any show between now and the end of the year, but call ahead to make your reservation.

Co-produced by local comedians Joe Gleckler and Samson Koletkar, COBO presents a weekly Thursday-, Friday-, and Saturday-night show featuring a lineup of six comedians, which happens to be the exact number needed to summon Doctor Who. Shows start at 8 p.m., with doors opening at 7:30 p.m., and feature funny persons from the Bay Area and beyond. Performers range from up-and-coming stars to well-seasoned comics who taste like Mrs. Dash and have appeared on Comedy Central, HBO, and BET. Check out the upcoming schedule to see who is playing and when. The venue is also a restaurant space with a full bar, giving patrons who aren't capable of extracting nutrients from laughter the opportunity to order edibles from Miss Pearl's menu.

Laughing has many health benefits, such as improving circulation, strengthening cardiovascular functions, reducing stress hormones, and freaking out birds. Stop by COBO to keep your blood flowing and your hormones stress and fowl free. And because there is no purchase limit on today's Groupon, stock up to conquer the inevitable laughter droughts for which life is so famous.

Ages 18 and older recommended.

Groupon Says

The Right Jokes for the Right Disease

A doctor walks into a bar. He cannot treat himself, and dies. Hilarious!

Read more...

$15 for $30 Toward Greek-Turkish Fusion Dinner at Sultana in Menlo Park

Friday, July 30th, 2010
$15 for $30 Toward Greek-Turkish Fusion Dinner at Sultana in Menlo Park

A marriage between two cuisines is preferable to a marriage between two clones of Sylvester Stallone, a process that eventually results in a baby reared on raw egg and meat punching bags. Savor a simpler fusion with today's Groupon: $15 for $30 worth of Greek-Turkish fusion fare from the dinner menu at Sultana. Reservations are required, and this Groupon is not valid for lunch.

Sultana serves up savory fare for Mediterranean masticators of all palates. During dinner, al fresco diners fill the open-air patio with warm discussion and fill their glasses or hollowed-out CRT monitors with a range of waft-worthy wines. Start with a serving of red-lentil soup ($3.95) before moving on to a coban salad featuring diced tomatoes, cucumber, onions, and chopped parsley with a lemon-and-olive-oil dressing ($5.95). Move on to traditional entrees such as the bursa iskender, oven-baked bread topped with grilled lamb and beef kabob in a fresh tomato sauce sided with yogurt ($15), or pair a white wine with the Mediterranean sea bass, a refreshing filet marinated in olive oil, stuffed with lemon and onions, and served aside light rice and salad ($22.95).

Whether you choose to dine indoors or outdoors beneath the twilight, Sultana's ever-attentive, veteran serving staff will happily complement your meal with knowledge bits and recommendation chunks. If you seek insight into the contents of baba gannouj, they will provide it, and if you need a fresh napkin, they will provide one that has the contents of baba gannouj written on it with baba gannouj.

Groupon Says

Con-fusion

Which half-lion, half-eagle animal is secretly neither?

Read more...

$30 for a One-Hour Segway Tour of the Pacific Coastline from Silicon Segway in Pacifica

Friday, July 30th, 2010
$30 for a One-Hour Segway Tour of the Pacific Coastline from Silicon Segway in Pacifica

The modern Segway far outclasses its early prototype, which was merely a tree stump with a saddle on it. Tour the ocean's coast in mobile, versatile fashion with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a one-hour Segway tour of Rockaway Beach and quarry from Silicon Segway (a $60 value), located in Pacifica. Riders must be 16 years or older and at least 100 pounds to ride; those under 18 must be accompanied by an adult.

Silicon Segway equips un-wheeled tourists with a Segway PT, which acts as an electric chariot that takes scenic-surveyors on a breezy tour of the coast. Pacifica tours start at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. seven days a week. Civilian Robocops will gather at Rockaway Beach and don a fashionable helmet before cruising along the shores of Pacifica for a spectacle-filled hour. After a quick Segway training session, tourists can spot oceanic fauna while jetting through a wildlife area, then climb through 12 hairpin bends up Pacifica's Strawberry Hill. On the way, you'll encounter historic landmarks, ride past majestic bluffs, and perhaps even spot a whale popping up to ask, "Pardon me, is this the 5:19 to Scottsdale?"

Visitors to the Pacifica area can explore the scenic beaches and popular surfing spots or grab a quick lunch and stroll past the chic boutiques at the Rockaway Beach Plaza. Riders are encouraged to wear closed-toe shoes and to bring a poncho in case of inclement weather or dunk-tank accidents. Call ahead or book online to reserve your spot.

24-hour cancellation notice required. Not valid Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year's Day.

Groupon Says

Segway Voice Commands

My other car is a Segway, and my other Segway is a garbage bin on two RC cars.

Read more...

$30 for $60 Worth of Lingerie and More at Dutchess Intimates Boutique in Campbell

Friday, July 30th, 2010
$30 for $60 Worth of Lingerie and More at Dutchess Intimates Boutique in Campbell

In addition to correcting scoliosis, cinching the waist, and holding Andy Warhol together, corsets are special-occasion garments oft reserved for minor bank holidays. Today's Groupon gets you $60 worth of corsets, camisoles, hosiery, bras, and more for $30 at Dutchess Intimates Boutique in downtown Campbell. Peruse an elegant collection of designer bras, panties, and lingerie that make every day as saucy as President’s Day.

With a full stock of hypoallergenic rose petals and nut-free dark chocolates, your allergy-free romantic night only lacks wardrobe. The European ambience at Dutchess Intimates Boutique inspires keen-eyed shoppers to cruise through the subtly flowing satins and lace, taking in the lush textures and form-flattering designs. The boutique dresses its hangers and mannequins in the lingerie stylings of Betsey Johnson, Blush, Calvin Klein, Lunaire, Mary Green, and many others, carrying bras sized from a 34A to 40DD (average price around $40) and lingerie from small to 2XL (average price around $65). While most ladies know whether they prefer a babydoll or a widowmaker, generous male partners or severely misguided mama's boys can follow these lingerie-hunting tips to make the selection process less discombobulating.

With today’s Groupon, your purchase at Dutchess Intimates includes complimentary gift wrap, which means your new nightie and PJ set will be decked in compliments from encasement to unveiling. Not only is Dutchess Intimates Boutique a friend to romantic courtship, it's also a friend to the greater good through its partnership with Save the Ta-Tas, an apparel brand that donates a portion of its proceeds to fighting breast cancer.

Groupon Says

Unmentionables

Which famous basketball player will appear if you say his name three times?

Read more...

$25 for One Center Circle Ticket to a San Jose Earthquakes Game, Two Coronas and Official Team T-Shirt ($57 Total Value).

Friday, July 30th, 2010
$25 for One Center Circle Ticket to a San Jose Earthquakes Game, Two Coronas and Official Team T-Shirt ($57 Total Value).

Soccer is a sport of impeccable passes, impenetrable defense, perfectly executed kicks, stern referees flourishing yellow cards and greeting cards (if it's the player's birthday), and no commercial breaks. Celebrate o jogo bonito (the beautiful game) in proper style with today's deal to any of four upcoming San Jose Earthquakes games. For $25, you get one center circle ticket ($35) plus drink vouchers for two Coronas ($12) and a team T-shirt ($10)—a combined $57 value. Seating will be in sections 103 and 104 of the center circle seating, which spans the midfield—allowing fans a panoramic view without binocular implementation or infrequent rubbernecking typically associated with tennis spectatorship.

Choose from the following dates:

  • Saturday, July 31, at 7 p.m. vs. Seattle Sounders FC
  • Saturday, August 14, at 7 p.m. vs. Kansas City Wizards
  • Saturday, September 11, at 7 p.m. vs. FC Dallas
  • Wednesday, September 29, at 8 p.m. vs. Chicago Fire

Since bursting onto the scene as the best MLS expansion team of the decade (based on their statistics in 2008), the Earthquakes have been living up to their name, causing opponents to plummet into the seismic cracks rent in the field by their feet pounding up the field before delivering goal kicks that pack their own aftershocks. With the Earthquakes' 2010 regular season nearing its final three months, now is the time for football fans to dig up stored scarves and revel in what many consider to be the hottest sport in the world after mixed martial croquet.

All seating will be first come, first served, so show up early to secure the best chance to spot yourself on the stadium's video board (if you appear on-screen, maintain an air of quiet dignity by waving like a lunatic). Bring your Groupon and a valid ID to will call for your ticket, then enter through gate A to grab an official Earthquakes T-shirt and Corona vouchers. Remember, however, that much like a poorly timed challenge, all fans will be carded and penalized with delicious beer.

You must be 21+ and have a valid photo ID to claim your beer vouchers. Deal is only valid for game purchased. Under 21 can attend the game, but cannot use or substitute the beer vouchers.

Groupon Says

Soccer Primer

Why do soccer players use their legs as bats?

Read more...

$20 for $40 Worth of French-Japanese Fusion at Bushi-Tei

Thursday, July 29th, 2010
$20 for $40 Worth of French-Japanese Fusion at Bushi-Tei

If two heads are better than one, then two cuisine-noggins fused into one restaurant-body are better than one. Support admixed eateries and your local thesaurus with today’s Groupon: for $20, you’ll get $40 worth of delicious French-Japanese fusion fare for lunch or dinner at Bushi-Tei, an epicurean hybrid that expands cultural palates.

The elegantly modern, candlelit décor serves as a complementary backdrop for the menu of thoughtfully plated dishes that think aloud, "This place looks great." Stop in for lunch Monday through Saturday and savor the herb-marinated Scottish salmon ($12.50). For dinner, start with the big-eye tuna tartare, a cool nibble perked up with coriander seed and wasabi-crème fraîche ($16). Artfully prepared main courses include seafood (orata, scallops, tuna), duck (served with mascarpone mustard and dried chutney), and grass-fed tenderloin. Entrees average $20–$30 and include vegetarian omakase choices.

Reserve belly space for a dessert such as Bushi-Tei’s airy chocolate soufflé, a cloudlike indulgence accompanied by a roasted strawberry and organic ice cream ($8.50). Throughout the meal, keep the palate cleansed and the conversation flowing with alternating rounds of wine and saké.

Valid for dine-in only.

Groupon Says

Important Moments in Nuclear Fusion

Was Einstein's most important theory "Love conquers all"?

Read more...

$3 for $6 Worth of Gelato, Sorbetto, and Belizza Sorbets at Powell’s Sweet Shoppe

Thursday, July 29th, 2010
$3 for $6 Worth of Gelato, Sorbetto, and Belizza Sorbets at Powell's Sweet Shoppe

The human mouth, which maintains a near-boiling temperature, needs to be constantly cooled by liquid-nitrogen pills or a jaw-mounted mouth fan. Take a more delicious route to cooling your maw with today's Groupon: for $3, you get $6 worth of gelatos classicos, sorbettos classicos, and Belizza sorbets at Powell's Sweet Shoppe. This Groupon is valid at the Willow Glen location only.

Powell's serves up freshly scooped servings shipped straight from Caffe Classico, a San Francisco–born gelatocatessen with truckloads of handcrafted Italian flavors. Although Powell's menu rotates, on any given day, 24 flavors will be on display from an extensive back catalogue comprised of 36 gelatos classicos (creamy, rich, Italian-style ice cream), seven sorbetto classicos (fat-free, dairy-free treat comprised of up to 90% fresh, imported fruit and up to 10% bee's knees), and six Belizza sorbets (low-fat, dairy-free, sadness-free superfruit purees rich in antioxidants). All sweet creations come coolly served in anything from a child's cup ($2.99) to an adult regular ($4.89) to straight into cupped hands (price negotiable). To-go pints are also available for picnics, birthdays, or igloo-oriented ribbon-cutting ceremonies ($7.95/pint).

In between tiny yet tasty hoistings of your sensational spoon, feel free to wander around Powell's extensive collection of candy that cover the entirety of the nostalgic scale. This Groupon is only good for sweets inside of the gelato freezer, but there's nothing stopping you from convincing an approachable stranger to trade scoop for scoop.

Groupon Says

Guidance Counseling

Go forth and hunt down your clones.

Read more...

$7 for $15 Worth of Fresh Fare at Mediterranean Wraps

Thursday, July 29th, 2010
$7 for $15 Worth of Fresh Fare at Mediterranean Wraps

Mediterranean cuisine is renowned for the way its rich ingredients inspire innovative food-fighting techniques. Skillfully execute the Kebab Eye Jab or the Hummus Humdinger with today’s Groupon: for $7, you get $15 worth of authentic Mediterranean fare at Mediterranean Wraps in Palo Alto. This Groupon is valid for dine-in and carryout at the University Avenue location only.

Mediterranean Wraps serves up a menu of authentic creations for the forking, skewering, and of course, wrapping then vacuuming. Refuel with a refreshing falafel wrap rolled with Mediterranean salad, lettuce, and tasty tahini sauce ($6.15), or fork your way through the sea with a combo canoe floating in hummus, falafel, tabouleh, baba ghanoush, salad, dolma, and isosceles pita parts ($9.99). If you're dining in, allow the chefs to spear some minced lamb and beef for a slow-cooked kufta kabob ($11.99), or if you're sprinting through, grab a pint of freshly blended hummus to go ($7.50) and pair it with a side of savory shawarma ($5.75) for a picnic fit for an Ottoman Empire.

Inside Mediterranean Wraps, don't be ashamed to admire the spinning meat across the counter, or rub hungry palms in anticipation of a vegetarian adventure. The restaurant is filled with the powerfully pungent scent of well-blended eats, transporting diners to the mythical shawarma sphere.

Not valid for delivery.

Groupon Says

Know Your Knowledge!

Why doesn't the Mediterranean appear on any maps?

Read more...